Last night I sewed the missing button on my Christmas sweater. The button had been missing — off and on — for a year. How can a button disappear and reappear and disappear again like that? It was a mystery, but I knew that the little sucker was going to do another disappearing act if I didn’t sew it on right then!
It started just over a year ago when Debbie invited me to her parent’s home in Big Bear to give a talk to her mother’s book club about my book (Beyond the Spotlight: On the Road with Phyllis Diller). I was, of course, delighted. As I tossed my overnight bag in Debbie’s car, a button fell off my Christmas sweater.
“Oops, let me grab that,” I said as I stooped down and picked up the little leather covered button and stuffed it into my pocket. (I thought.)
That evening as I was changing for dinner, I realized the button was not in my pocket. “Debbie,” I asked when we were setting the table, “I think I dropped the button to my sweater in your car. Will you remind me in the morning to have a look?”
In the morning light we searched the car — under the floor mats, between the seats, under the seats — no button. I checked my slacks again turning the pockets inside out — no button. I didn’t want to turn the weekend into a button search, so decided to let it go. When we left, I asked Debbie’s parents to give it to her if they came across it.
A couple of months later I was changing purses and as I emptied the black purse, I felt something behind the lining. OH! Turns out I hadn’t put the button in my pocket at all — I had dropped it into my purse. Hooray — the button was found! I set it on my dresser promising myself I would sew it on right away. But did I?? Of course not. And as time passed, it somehow got shuffled with all the other stuff on the dresser and disappeared.
Fast forward another few months when Black Jack was batting something around the carpet and — you guessed it — the leather button! THERE it is! I yelped as I snatched it from Black Jack. NOW I’ll sew it on, I told myself as I set it on my nightstand. This evening — I’ll sew it on before I go to bed. But …
And the weeks sped by. A week before Christmas and the button had once again disappeared. Smokey likes to walk across my nightstand. No doubt she had knocked it to the floor. I moved the nightstand, I picked up the bag of books that I was getting ready to take to the thrift store. I checked in and around the wastebasket. It was simply gone! I tried to remember — could I have put it in a drawer? No — I checked the little drawer. No button. It was well and truly gone — probably a victim of the vacuum cleaner.
So yesterday I decided to take that bag of books to the thrift store. As I set the bag on the counter it tipped over and the books slid out, and at the bottom of the sack was … you guessed it! The Button! I screeched and grabbed it off the counter.
“I have been LOOKING for this all year long!” I told the lady. I stuffed the button in my pocket and PROMISED myself I would sew it on as soon as I got home — and I DID!
So now I’m ready to wear my Christmas sweater and … wait. What? It’s not Christmas anymore? It’s too late? But I’ve been waiting all year!!! Oh drat! Okay, I’ll hang it back on its padded hanger and wait till next year.
In the meantime, I need to just take a few stitches in the seam of my Halloween sweater …
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