According to Rita Rudner, bachelors live like bears with furniture. I’ve found this to be true. A quick shout-out to Rita Rudner: She is classy, funny and clean. http://www.ritarudner.com. If you ever get a chance to see her, I guarantee you will laugh a lot. But back to the bears: I have known two bachelors in my life who fit Miss Rudner’s description perfectly. One was my brother, the other is my friend Lonnie. Both are wonderful, kind men who would give you the shirt off their back (Oh, no — that is not a pretty sight — put it back on, please!) But they do have their peculiarities. One, which they both shared, is their method of washing dishes. I call it the “fire hose method.” It works like this: Take all the dishes out of the sink. Turn the water on full blast — all the way. Pick… Read More »
You can’t kill an oleander? Bet me!
The nice lady at the nursery assured me, “it’s impossible to kill an oleander.” I almost said, “wanna bet? Come by my house.” Instead, I just said “Maybe I can’t, but something sure is.” When we moved into this house over 30 years ago, the oleander hedge between us and the neighbor was well-established and thriving. In summer it was covered with bright pink flowers; the rest of the year the leaves were dark green and glossy. It formed a pleasant demarcation. It seemed independent and content, and I was perfectly content to let it be. In fact, I never gave it a second thought and only occasionally dragged the hose across the driveway to water it. Then a couple of years ago I noticed withering leaves and bare, dead branches. Oops. “So,” I said as I plopped a couple of smallish oleander bushes on the wagon, “how long do you… Read More »
I am not Responsible
It is a struggle, but I have come to understand that I am not responsible for finding homes for everything that crosses my path. Except the kittens who are born in my backyard, of course. I was responsible for them, but other things? Not so much. Many years ago a friend gave me a handful of hollyhock seeds. I had seen pictures of hollyhocks growing in front of Swiss chalets, so I didn’t expect them to grow in the desert, but they did! Not only grow, but thrive. They also re-seed themselves, and they are not discriminate about where they land, so they drift across the fences into the neighbors yards. This gives me a stunning wall of hollyhocks every spring and summer. A joyous display to gladden the heart. At the end of the season, when they are done blooming, I collect the excess seeds in baggies. In the beginning,… Read More »
The $50 sunflowers
Don’t you just love sunflowers? Doesn’t everybody? And as for mine, I don’t know for a fact that the sunflowers have cost me $50 — it might be more; I’m hoping it’s less. I’ll find out next month when I get the water bill. I’ve wanted to plant sunflowers ever since I saw them in a neighbor’s yard a few years back, but I always forget until it’s too late. But not this year! Sometime in March I actually remembered and went to the nursery. Problem is, I haven’t bought seeds for years. They used to be 39¢, then they went up to 79¢. Of course, that was in the 90s. How about $2.59? For a packet of seeds. SEEDS. Not a pot of flowers, just a little envelope with seeds. Okay, okay, I know — I’m still living in the last century. Anyway … I came home and planted… Read More »
The burglar in my backyard
Okay, I don’t know for sure that it was a burglar. Coulda been a car thief, an arsonist, a vagrant or some other wanted person. All I know is he was in my back yard. It was a couple of evenings ago just before dusk when I had the slightest inkling that something was amiss. You know how you recognize every sound in your house? Most of the time you’re not even aware, but your subconscious registers it and checks it off. The refrigerator coming on — check; the water heater gugrling — check; the wind rattling the front door — check; the wind rattling the back door — Alert. The back door does not rattle. I listened for a moment and decided that I was hearing unfamiliar sounds. I trotted into the dining room and confirmed the patio door was locked and then the laundry room door — locked,… Read More »
