According to Rita Rudner, bachelors live like bears with furniture. I’ve found this to be true. A quick shout-out to Rita Rudner: She is classy, funny and clean. http://www.ritarudner.com. If you ever get a chance to see her, I guarantee you will laugh a lot. But back to the bears: I have known two bachelors in my life who fit Miss Rudner’s description perfectly. One was my brother, the other is my friend Lonnie. Both are wonderful, kind men who would give you the shirt off their back (Oh, no — that is not a pretty sight — put it back on, please!) But they do have their peculiarities. One, which they both shared, is their method of washing dishes. I call it the “fire hose method.” It works like this: Take all the dishes out of the sink. Turn the water on full blast — all the way. Pick… Read More »
Walking my baby back home …
The other evening my phone rang. It was my friend Susan. “Guess what I just did.” she said. “I dunno, lemme think.” Went skydiving? – No, she’s already done that. Booked a river cruise of the Nile? Nope, she’s done that, too. “I give up,” I said. “What did you just do?” “I walked a goose home.” “A what? You did a what?” “I walked a goose home.” “How did you do that?” “Well, I was in my garage with the door open painting a shelf and I heard this really loud “Honk!” and I turned around and there was a goose standing in the middle of the street looking at me.” “What was it doing?” “Nothing. Just standing there watching me.” “What did you do?” “Well, you know geese can be touchy, so I didn’t want to just walk over to it. I called the Sun City Patrol to… Read More »
Fun with Dish Towels
When I went to London, I fell in love with dish towels. Well, I fell in love with a lot of things … with the stores, the gardens, the big black cabs, the cathedrals, the tube, the Thames, the bridges over the Thames, the theaters … everything! But yes, the dish towels. Because I have cleaned and rearranged my linen closet, I have a stack — a large stack — of dish towels to iron. (Of course I have to iron my dish towels. Not to would be a travesty with ones like these.) These are 100% Irish linen with bright colorful designs. As soon as I saw them, I fell in love. I bought them by the armful. They were not expensive — at least not by American standards — and they cheered up the kitchen, and me. I can’t remember now (it’s been over half a century) where… Read More »
Do cats get bored?
Is it possible that my cat, Smokey, is a bored cat? I mean, really, do you think cats get bored? Dogs get excited about things and jump around and bark and are always underfoot. Cats, however, seem to simply drift through life sleeping, bathing and occasionally taking a stroll from one room to the next or even (in the case of my cats) into the backyard. But really, how exciting can that be? Smokey has been following me around all day crying. Why? I have no idea. Is the water dish full? Check. Is there crunch (we don’t call it dry food — how appetizing would that be?) on the blue plate? Check. Is the cat door accessible — I mean not blocked by a chair or something? Yep, it’s clear. In Smokey’s case that really doesn’t mean much. She won’t use the cat door anymore since Lop Ear came… Read More »
Goodbye Samuel Pierre
I think I would’ve been okay if I hadn’t seen the trash truck. I’ve been clearing out a lot and one thing I finally decided to let go was Samuel Pierre Bear who has lived with me for nearly 60 years. Samuel Pierre is a large — very large — stuffed Panda bear that a young man named Samuel won for me at the Pomona Fair when we were teenagers. Samuel Pierre Bear has lived with me in Houston and South Africa and London and now Las Vegas. He is a very sturdy fellow standing about 3 feet high and weighing 35 pounds. Wherever I went, he went. When I left home at the age of 22, SPB accompanied me on my drive to Houston. When I joined the Foreign Service and was assigned to the American Embassy in South Africa, SPB went along. He was packed up with all… Read More »
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