Yes, indeed, a nice big platter of chicken paws to go with the chitterlings and fried green tomatoes. I have never, personally, had chicken paws and until today, I was unaware that there was even such a thing. But as my friend Melenda might say when faced with something bizarre, “it’s a wiggly world.” It is indeed and some days more than others.
Not only are there chicken paws, but there are tomato cages and plant locks. I was unaware that tomatoes needed to be kept in cages — they’ve always seemed rather docile and even bland to me, but there are all kinds of cages to confine them — the standard cage (shown here) is just a plain wire contraption. However, if your tomatoes are of a sensitive bent, they might prefer something made of bamboo, or redwood, or hey — maybe even oak. You can even find elegant cages shaped like pagodas. I haven’t seen one like the Taj Mahal or Buckingham Palace, but I’ll bet someone would be happy to make it if you wanted to pay for it.
I don’t know just what those tomatoes might be capable of if they are left to roam free. Wasn’t there a movie about the tomato that ate Tokyo — or am I thinking of James and the Giant Peach? Both of them sound pretty spooky to me.
Okay, I looked it up on-line — the tomato evidently ate Cleveland, but there was also the potato that ate Cincinnati. And, of course (she said as though she’d known all along) there is the 2002 epic “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.” Well, there had to be a reason that somebody, somewhere started making cages for tomatoes.
As for plant locks, I bought a package of them just out of curiosity. I didn’t realize that plants should be locked up, but apparently the idea (as shown here) is that you can secure the plant to the trellis so it doesn’t droop all over the place. My honeysuckle in the back yard has just sprung to life with a vengeance and is drooping all over the place, and now that I need them, I can’t find where I stashed those dratted locks. Vengeful honeysuckle. Killer tomatoes. Are any of us safe in our beds?
So, back to the chicken paws. You didn’t believe me, did you? Well here’s proof positive. You can get them at Walmart (where else?) and I’m sure they’re amazing. I mean, I’m amazed that there is even such a thing. What’s next? Hen’s teeth? Rooster ears? I’ll be keeping a sharp eye out.