We love our pets, don’t we? Sometimes more than others, but you’d do a lot to make your fur friend happy, wouldn’t you? I now have four cats (two were strays who just sort of moved in) and I love them. If you have cats, dogs, parakeets or ferrets, you know what I’m talking about. Goldfish, eh, maybe not so much. But once in awhile you stop at that display of toys and (yikes!) clothes for your pup or kitty and might even shell out a few bucks for something goofy you think they’d like.
So today I was at PetSmart stocking up on food (sure wish I could figure out a way to make those animals earn their keep) when I came across a new product: appetizers for cats. Appetizers. They come in their own little tray — all you do is peel off the top. Because this is a new product, it is at a “special, introductory price” of $1 a tray.
This isn’t just repackaged cat food — no sir! This is “wild caught Alaskan salmon in a savory gravy,” and “steamed tilapia in a delicate sauce.” There was also “white meat chicken with flaked skipjack tuna,” and another tuna (bluefin, I believe) in yet another “savory sauce.” You know how they say you should never go shopping when you’re hungry? Man alive, I was ready to rip off the top and dig in right there!
Now, as I said, it was at a special introductory price. Normally these go for $1.29. (For my purposes let’s say $1.25 because I like dealing in round numbers — well, that’s not exactly round, but fives are friendlier than nines, don’t you think?) The appetizer tray is two ounces, as in 1/8 of a pound. So $1.25 x 8 = $10 a pound. For cat food! That’s more than sirloin steak! And we’re not even talking a full meal here but a little pre-dinner snack.
Oh, and there weren’t just 3 or 4 of these — there was an entire section. They had probably 12 different appetizers. Heaven forbid your cat should have to eat the same thing two days in a row! Right there by the display was a coupon: $1 off four appetizers. So that now makes them 75 cents each. I actually contemplated that — for about 6 seconds.
I picked up a can of Friskies from my cart — 5.5 ounces for 45 cents. So, about $1.30 a pound which is certainly more reasonable.
Now I’m wondering what the next new cat product will be: Dessert for the Discerning Feline? I mean, we’ve had the appetizer and the main course (which at my house is dry food with a small side of canned), so why not a little something sweet to complete their repast? Anyone want to take bets on when the Kitty Dessert will make its debut?
Or — wait — a salad! I mean we already have cat grass — you know, those little white pots by the cash register with something that looks like chives? My cats go outside and chew on weeds, so it’s not that much of a stretch to serve a little chopped greens with their dinner. As I was contemplating this, a man and woman were in earnest conversation about the merits of Fancy Feast v. Sheba at somewhere around $1.10 for an itty-bitty can. I pushed my basket past them and the woman glanced at it and then looked at me like I was pond scum.
I slunk out of the store with my bag of dry cat food and a dozen cans of just plain stuff (which is now called pate′), wondering if someone was going to call PETA before I could make it home. As I pulled into the driveway, another thought struck me concerning that Alaskan wild-caught salmon — should I serve the kitties some wine? I’ll ask Smokey tonight.